Thank You for Calling Microsoft

by Hap Rocketto

Decision making and problem solving are two very important skills a shooter must have to be successful. Each time a shooter prepares to release a shot though the process of the integrated act of shooting a great many factors are weighed and each requires that a “go” or “no go” decision be made. Considering that it is rare to get a shot off during slow fire on the first attempt the mental energy expended to make several thousand judgment calls during the course of a match is immense.

Factor into the decision process needed to deal with the occasional miscue that leads to having to solve a problem, such as a misplaced sighter, a dud round, or a malfunctioning piece of equipment, and it is easy to see why shooting is such a cerebral game. It places a premium on the ability to think fast and act clearly on a great deal of information arriving very quickly while laboring under the harsh master of a time limit.

This being said the tale of one of Microsoft Corporation’s finest technicians must be told. The young lad was much moved by the War on Global Terrorism and enlisted. Leaving the serene campus like Microsoft corporate headquarters he arrived at boot camp and was quickly involved in learning drill and ceremonies, the customs of the service, and basic combat skills. About seven weeks into basic training it came time to go to the rifle range. Here he was given detailed instruction into the basic positions, sight alignment, breath control, and trigger control. After what seemed like unending hours of snapping in, snapping in was a snap for him, and dry fire he came to the firing line and was issued live ammunition to zero in his M16A2.

Armed with a wealth of theoretical knowledge, and no practical experience, he took up a good solid prone position with his sling snug high up on his arm and went about practicing what he had learned. He was slightly surprised by the report and recoil of the rifle as he had never shot before but his position held up and all seemed right. Much to his surprise his target did not go down so his coach called for a mark. The target quickly dipped into the pits and just a rapidly popped up with no visible hit marked. A few sweeps of the red flag know as “Maggie’s drawer quickly followed to confirm a miss. Several more shots followed under the watchful eye of the coach but the reports continued to come back from the butts that, despite all attempts, he had completely missed the target with every attempt.

”What is going on here?” his coach mused half aloud as he worked his way through various solutions to the problem.

The former computer technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He again looked at the rifle and again at the target. His lips pursed as he processed all of the information in a manner taught to him by Bill Gates and his disciples back in Redmond, Washington. A quick bright smile indicated that he had seemingly processed the information and solved the problem.

Before his startled coach could stop him he placed the tip of his left index finger in front of the rifle’s muzzle and squeezed the trigger with his right hand. Not unexpectedly he end of his finger was vaporized, disappearing in a pink mist. Unfazed by pain he turned to the ashen faced coach and gave the reply he must have made a million times to customers on the other end of a 1-800-426-9200 telephone call who had patiently waded through the maze of electronic voices, touch tone button pushes, and endless elevator music to reach a Microsoft technician.

“Everything is functioning just as it should here, the trouble must be at the other end!”

As was said at the beginning, decision making and problem solving are two very important skills needed to be a successful shooter. Common sense in the application of the results of these processes should go without saying.

About Hap Rocketto

Hap Rocketto is a Distinguished Rifleman with service and smallbore rifle, member of The Presidents Hundred, and the National Guard’s Chief’s 50. He is a National Smallbore Record holder, a member of the 1600 Club and the Connecticut Shooters’ Hall Of Fame. He was the 2002 Intermediate Senior Three Position National Smallbore Rifle Champion, the 2012 Senior Three Position National Smallbore Rifle Champion a member of the 2007 and 2012 National Four Position Indoor Championship team, coach and captain of the US Drew Cup Team, and adjutant of the United States 2009 Roberts and 2013 Pershing Teams. Rocketto is very active in coaching juniors. He is, along with his brother Steve, a cofounder of the Corporal Digby Hand Schützenverein. A historian of the shooting sports, his work appears in Shooting Sports USA, the late Precision Shooting Magazine, The Outdoor Message, the American Rifleman, the Civilian Marksmanship Program’s website, and most recently, the apogee of his literary career, pronematch.com.
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