by Hap Rocketto
About a year ago, during my annual physical, my doctor had me step on the scale, something we both dreaded. I am a science teacher and I won’t go into the semantics of mass verses weight and how I tried to turn it into a joke. However Dr. Marzilli did not share my laughter when I suggested that I really wasn’t over weight because on the Moon, where the force of gravity is less, I would only weigh 40 pounds. Dr. Marzilli, a man of science himself, reminded me that, while I lived on the Earth, the readings on his scale made him think that, just maybe I lived on Jupiter. He unhappily noted on my medical record that my total gross tonnage was approaching that of the starship Enterprise. At any rate, if I wanted to live much longer he suggested that I had better drop some weight and get off of my blood pressure medicine. He opined that I should cut back on my intake of Moon Pies and RC Cola and increase my exercise.
Back home I polished off the remaining Moon Pies in the larder, washing them down with ice cold RC, as I tried to come up with a more energetic exercise program than clicking the remote and asking my kids to pick up after themselves. In a flash, much like Paul on the road to Tarsus, it hit me! I would simply decrease the quantity of position shooting in which I participated and drastically increase the amount of prone shooting on my schedule.
Now this may not seem logical on the surface but I am sure Mr. Spock would understand it in a picosecond. First of all we must face the fact that shooting is the only static sport in existence. Not only does it require you not to move, it places a great penalty upon any unsteadiness, quite the opposite of the popular concept of sport. Such is the difference between the exalted sport of rifle shooting and lesser athletic endeavors that in days gone by, when the NRA was the governing body for international shooting, undistinguished resident troglodyte-like practitioners of other sports at the Olympic Training Center, darkly hinted that the initials really meant ‘Not Really Athletes’, but I digress.
I reasoned that position shooting requires 120 record shots in three positions at 50 yards. That meant that, despite the fact that 3P requires you to lug more gear and lift a heavy rifle many times, I could get more aerobic exercise belly shooting.
“How?” I hear you ask. Simple mathematics, which we all know to be the mother of all sciences, and a casual understanding of physics, gives us our answer. In the course of a 3P regional you change targets 24 times for a total of 1200 yards of walking. (Note: for the sake of this argument all units of linear measurement will be in the English system because American prone shooting is so traditional.) This does not, of course, include strolling to the stat office to hawk the board, trips to the car for ammunition and equipment, aimless wandering to catch up on gossip, or the essential trip or two to the rest room. As I was now watching what I ate I could eliminate several sojourns to the snack bar. These extraneous perambulations are not readily quantifiable and were, therefore, eliminated from the following equation.
A quick review of your high school physics will remind you that Work=(force in pounds)(displacement in feet). Multiply that foot-pound product by a conversion factor of 0.324 calorie per foot-pound and then divide it by 1,000 calories per food calorie and you will have the number of food calories expended in hanging targets for a stout middle aged shooter. The calculation clearly shows that a position regional burns up 279.94 food calories for the target hanging Pillsbury Doughboy. It was becoming apparent that in 3P I was shooting and walking less than if I was shooting prone. I disliked the former, my doctor disliked the latter, and the calories burned, it turned out, were not as significant as the prone calculations were to reveal.
Compare a position to a prone regional in which targets are changed 32 times for a total of 2200 yards of walking. Prone shows a dramatic increase in energy consumption! If I took up serious prone shooting I could almost double my shooting and my exercise. A prone match burns up an incredible 513.22 food calories, a whopping 55% more than position match and the equivalent of scarfing down a 12 ounce RC and a Moon Pie, in walking to the targets alone. Think about the extra non-quantifiable calories that are expended in the innumerable trips to the challenge window that good prone shooting requires. The daily total might reach over 1,500 food calories during a match with a lot of close shots. However, these extraneous calories cannot be added to the equation, which is impressive enough. They simply should be viewed as a bonus. The conclusion follows that prone shooting is a veritable weight sink.
The only fly in the ointment might be the increased ammunition expense. However, this was easily offset in my case by a smaller grocery bill caused by a lowered consumption of Moon Pies and RC. In all, I was able to devise a painless method of weight loss that pleased my doctor, my wife, and myself.
Some twelve months later I am reaping the harvest of my plan. At my last weigh-in I tipped the scales at a mere 33 Moon pounds, now that I am off Moon Pies. Since I am presently more fit I find that I fit on my mat, and in my shooting coat, with comfort and ease. The wife is happy that she doesn’t have to drag the heavy bottles of RC into the house and worry about the ants attracted by the super sugary Moon Pies. And, best of all, my doctor smiles now that my blood pressure is 115 over 75. Well, it usually is that low except when I’m shooting nines prone. However, I am shooting a lot more prone…
